Transcript from Bob Monkhouse's Film DIY Show, January 3rd 2001 - typed by me
 

Return to Me: Edinburgh premiere interview
by Douglas Anderson

DOUGLAS: This is Douglas Anderson, reporting for Bob's DIY Film show at the Odeon in Edinburgh. We've about to witness the premiere, the European premiere of "Return to Me" starring David Duchovny (of X-Files fame) and Mini Driver. I don't have a ticket, but by golly I'm going to attempt to blag my way in.

DOUGLAS: David - hi, Douglas Anderson (BBC) welcome, good to meet you.
 DAVID: How are ya, nice to meet you.

DOUGLAS: First of all, you're looking better tonight, I'm not being a sycophant, but you are looking better. Can I ask you a little question? How about me? [david looks douglas up and down] I've made an effort tonight, this has cost me a lot of money (interviewer has barely combed slightly dyed red hair and a plain suit/tie combination)

[David laughs and grins widely..]

DAVID: Has it? (laugh) I like your hair color. That's what I like.
DOUGLAS: Thank you, I like yours too. Wax or gel, wax or gel?
DOUGLAS: Errr...a little bit of both, yeah.
DOUGLAS: I'm a film-maker as well
DAVID: Are you? Good.
DOUGLAS: Is there any way you could maybe see, maybe make a cameo in my, cos I've got some better names, no offense, (david says mouth's "yes" as in "yeah right" with a wide smile) but maybe a cameo?
DAVID: Err.. I've love to.
DOUGLAS: Kinda like what you did in Larry Sanders, which I must say, excellent.
DAVID: I'm ready to do it today, I'm all dressed for that right now [looks at kilt]
DOUGLAS: So we could homage, maybe have "the bollocks of David Duchovny"?

[David laughs out loud]

DOUGLAS: Cos I'm sure they're better than my bollocks, you know what I mean?
DAVID: You know, I don't think anybody's balls are *too good* actually, its, not the best part of a man is it? Its important but...
DOUGLAS: I don't know, my balls have been called many things in their time, not all of them good, but..
DAVID: (in Scottish accent) Bollocks.
DOUGLAS: Say that again
DAVID: (grins, then straight-faced) no.

DOUGLAS: Is there any way you can give me your mobile number, so I could maybe correspond with you, dealing with film projects?
DAVID: During the film? You can call me in the middle of the film?
DOUGLAS: No, after the film
DAVID: No, there's no way, no way at all.
DOUGLAS: I've got Michael Jackson in it.
DAVID: Michael Jackson? Really? That's.. it's...I'm not big enough for that.
DOUGLAS: Of course you are, that Larry Sanders cameo thing, we could go places.
DAVID: Oh I have *no* doubt about that.
DOUGLAS: Listen, thanks for your time - remember the name, Douglas Anderson, film maker!
DAVID: I will, thanks. (David grins and walks away shaking his head)
 
Source: BBC Choice, Typed by me , and all transcripts are my exclusive property

 
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